Provost shares his freshman exchanges with parents

During each New Student Orientation for the past 10 years, PROVOST JOHN ETCHEMENDY has given freshmen a three-part assignment to complete by the end of the quarter—often much to their surprise.

As part of the assignment, he asks them, first, to get to know a faculty member really well; second, to ask a question in class that scares them; and, third, to explain a concept to a fellow student who is confused. Over 10 years, the assignment has been given to more than 16,000 freshmen. At the end of fall quarter, he emails the freshmen and asks for a report. Hundreds respond, and the provost emails them back in kind.

And, at every Parents’ Weekend, Etchemendy shares a sampling of the responses with parents during his welcome address.

Etchemendy explained to parents during this year’s Parents’ Weekend: “The assignment is designed to get them to fully embrace the intellectual culture of Stanford. … It is a privilege to share these exchanges with them, to hear about their hopes, fears, successes and, yes, even the things they perceive as failures.”

Over the years, Etchemendy has received a wide variety of responses, including requests for dating advice. And some intrepid freshman always asks what a provost does, anyway.

Etchemendy described to parents one of his favorite responses from this year:

“One student said how happy he is that he came, but admitted that he had never heard of Stanford before someone suggested he apply. He wrote: ‘I didn’t know that Stanford existed. I always thought it was a T-shirt manufacturer.’”

Throughout the years, a few themes consistently arise. “Freshmen are invariably amazed to learn that faculty members are, as they put it, actually human,” he said.

“Here’s a typical response about getting to know a faculty member: ‘I never had the chance before to get to know a teacher outside of the school environment. I never really talked about my teachers’ personal lives. And it was a big eye-opener to realize that, yes, professors with PhDs and amazing resumes are normal people, too.’”

He continued, “This year, I read a lot of amazing stories about the discussions students have with faculty over dinners sponsored by residence halls. One described, quote, ‘some truly wonderful conversations ranging from life in the Midwest to … risqué chemistry jokes.’ Well, our faculty may be normal, but I can’t vouch for their sense of humor.”

Etchemendy also read from “one of the most thoughtful responses I’ve received” this year:

“Here is a small part of what that student wrote: ‘Fall quarter was beautiful but also a struggle for me. I felt overwhelmed one day, only to wake up the next feeling I wasn’t taking full advantage of everything Stanford and the amazing people here have to offer. …

“‘In short, I wanted it all. But that just isn’t feasible. As I pondered my fall quarter experience … I realized the root of all the sadness I had experienced during that time. No matter where I was or who I was with, I always felt I was missing out on something. I couldn’t be happy because the grass always looked greener over there, but once I got “there” I would see another place with possibly even greener grass.

“‘I now know that I need to be happy with my choices and not constantly second-guess myself. I must learn to be contented with a decision after I come to it. All of this blabber I wrote is trying to express these last two sentences.’”

Etchemendy uses the exchanges as a way to give parents a window into their children’s experiences and to offer them advice about how to help their kids succeed at Stanford.

“During the next several days, I hope you will avoid asking your sons or daughters about their grades and, instead, ask the same questions I did. Have they gotten to know their teachers? Do they study with other students, and have they learned from one another? Have they participated in class and asked questions that scare them? And, finally, are they having any fun?”

See the photo slideshow for more coverage of Parents’ Weekend.